BESPOKE COUPLES PROGRAMME
REPAIR, REBUILD, RENEW
Making Long-Term Relationships Last
Being able to recognize signs of problematic relationship patterns is key to knowing when to go to couples therapy. The earlier you address relationship problems, the easier it is to prevent them from escalating into more significant issues — not to mention you can avoid developing destructive behaviours that may ultimately lead to the demise of your relationship and all the consequences that come with this. When you’re in a long-term relationship, you end up sharing a lot, from your home, to your kids, to your friends and finances, everything gets intertwined. If the emotional turmoil of breakup is not enough, then all the rest just piles on top – it can be a costly experience both financially and emotionally.
Some of the key themes that suggests your relationship is in trouble are;
• Frequent and intense arguments
• Lack of effective communications
• One, or both, emotionally withdrawing
• Trust issues
• Loss of physical intimacy
• Impact of major life transitions – parenthood, job loss, menopause
• Feelings of growing apart
• Affairs – either considering or they have taken place
• Substance misuse – an increase in drinking and/or drug use
Couples therapy is a proven successful way to discuss anything that may be of concern in a safe and neutral environment. It isn’t always about rescuing a relationship it can also be a way of taking stock of where your relationship is and looking towards deepening it and moving forward together in unison.
Addictions and Relationships
Addiction and relationships do not make good bed fellows, if you pardon the pun. When you are involved in a relationship with alcohol, drugs, sex, porn, gambling etc. you are not fully present for your partner. Anyone that has been or is in a relationship with someone that is active in their addictive behaviour can testify it's not a pleasant place to be.
Many partners tolerate this behaviour for years, often on the empty promises of their other halves that they will “sort it out”.
The fact of the matter is that those in active addiction are not honest, be that to themselves or their partners – they lie, they cheat and they manipulate to the point that what trust there was in the relationship erodes.
Communication is also affected. Often those in active addiction are defensive, aggressive, accusatory or withdrawn making effective communication almost impossible. In some cases, this boils over to physical and emotional abuse.
Then there is the neglect and isolation as the individual struggling with addiction prioritises their addiction over spending time with their partner, leading to feelings of neglect and abandonment.
And for some there is the infidelity to deal with, either by finding out pretreatment or when their loved one goes into treatment and suddenly decides to unburden themselves of the secret they have been hiding.
Which brings us to the lightbulb moment, the time when the addictive person decides that the route out of addiction is to go into treatment. Hang out the banners, sound the claxons and deliver huge pats on the back. But what about their partner, who is hanging out the banners for them?
This is not to say that we shouldn’t celebrate someone deciding to come into treatment, of course we should. But where is the partner in all this?
What happens to them in having to deal with the years of broken trust, abusive behaviour, neglect, infidelity etc? Are they expected to brush it all under the carpet and get on with their lives when their loved one emerges from their cocoon as a new butterfly? How is the relationship expected to thrive or even survive if this is never dealt with?
This is where BTBs bespoke couples programme comes in. Couples therapy can plays a vital role in addressing relationship issues related to addiction. By working with trained professionals, couples can tackle the difficulties in their relationship and look to resolve some of the issues that the addiction has created such as anger, resentment and lack of trust.
Our Bespoke Programme
Unlike standard couples therapy, where couples meet every other week for 3 - 6 months, our intensive bespoke programme empowers couples to create a path to change in a very short time. For many couples this can be done in as little as just 7 days.
Furthermore rather than address relationship issues in the traditional 4 walls of a therapists office we have the added benefit of providing our programme on a Caribbean Island.
As indicated on other pages BTB has a strong passion for nature based and nature informed therapy and as such even our talking therapies are done outside in lush curated and discreet settings.
We recognise each couple is unique in the issues they present so all our programmes are designed on the back of our assessments with each individual and then personalised to meet each couples needs.
With an extensive Island based team to draw on we can be sure to provide an eclectic programme to address the matters at hand as well as providing several holistic opportunities such as yoga, mindfulness and a range of complementary therapies.
Our Approach
Our programme utilises a 7-step approach to enable couples to get their relationship back on track or to enhance what they already have. We do this through:
Communication: The programme supports our clients to express their feelings, needs and wants, listen and reflect to one another. Therefore, both parties feel heard. Sharing thoughts, feelings, wants, and needs
effectively can help couples feel understood and be empathetic. This can lead to fewer misunderstandings and conflicts and create a deeper connection.
Reflective Listening: This technique helps each partner understand the others thoughts and emotions. Effective reflective listening is a vital part of healthy relationships. It can help build trust, strengthen emotional connections, and increase empathy. When people feel heard and understood, they can be closer to their partners.
Love Languages: The programme can help couples investigate what their individual “Love Languages” are which can help them understand and meet each others emotional needs. Love languages exist on a spectrum, and a couple’s needs change over time. It is important to learn flexibility and understanding so navigating this is an art that can be taught using this approach.
Gratitude and Appreciation: Research shows couples who practise gratitude and express appreciation feel more connected, loving, and satisfied in their relationships.
Prioritising The Relationship: We support couples to learn how to talk to each other without criticism or defensiveness and to review how much dedicated time they are committing to their relationship around the
necessities of life such as work, raising children and household tasks.
Adjusting Expectations: We address realistic and unrealistic expectations and discuss the adjustments which may support the relationship. In emotionally focussed relationships partners are good friends. They honour one another’s dreams, even if they’re different. They trust one another and can manage conflict constructively. That
means they can arrive at mutual understanding and get to compromises that work by modifying expectations.
Affectionate Physical Contact and Touch: We support partners to emotionally re-approach each other.
Educate and Restore the Emotional Connection. Emotional connection is a deep bond of trust, understanding, and shared
feelings between people in a relationship. It's about feeling close, valued, and cared for by your partner, and being there for each other through good and bad times.
Our Techniques
Psychodynamic couple’s therapy: Psychodynamic therapy explores the underlying hopes and fears that motivates individuals and their partners, to help them understand each other better.
Behavioural therapy: Also known as behavioral couples therapy (BCT), this form of therapy involves shaping behaviour by reinforcing positive behaviors that promote stability and satisfaction, while discouraging behaviors that foster negativity.
Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT): Also referred to as cognitive behavioral couples therapy (CBCT), this form of therapy involves identifying and changing thought patterns that negatively influence behaviour.
Nature based and nature informed therapy: Empirical studies have proved that spending time in nature improves your mental, physical, and spiritual health which in turn helps to reduce stress, anxiety, and a range of other conditions. Our programmes include swimming in the warm Caribbean sea with turtles, forest breathing as well as practicing yoga and mindfulness surrounded by the sounds of nature - all which helps to refresh one’s mind, body and soul.
Coming to a tropical island allows you to physically distance yourself from the hustle and bustle of your everyday life, and allows you to immerse yourself in your personal treatment programme and focus on yourselves as a couple that then enables the long-lasting changes you need and want.